Ray's Sea Jokes

<cite>John Young:</cite> <time>0:00</time> I'm gonna hit record now we're recording. So anything you say now may be held against you in a later episode. Are you ready? <cite>Scarlett Young:</cite> <time>0:07</time> Great. <cite>Announcer:</cite> <time>0:09</time> Welcome to Scarlett's Laughtastic Extravaganza. With your host, John Young, my dad, and me, Scarlett. Get ready to laugh along with us in 3...2...1! GOOOO!I <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>0:20</time> I bet you thought we did that live did you live? <cite>Ray Popik:</cite> <time>0:29</time> It sounded like you had amazing consistency. <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>0:32</time> Well, she has a podcast professional at seven. Well Oh, I'm sorry. Whale. Hello there. Whale. Hello there. That's not a joke. That's just that's just a warm up. <cite>Scarlett Young:</cite> <time>0:45</time> I'm laughing because it's not funny. <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>0:47</time> Thank you. Oh, hey, that counts as a laugh in our in our show, right? No, <cite>Scarlett Young:</cite> <time>0:50</time> don't put it down. <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>0:51</time> I'm not putting anything now. We are on our first on location podcast recording. Where are we? <cite>Ray Popik:</cite> <time>0:59</time> Underwater blub blub blub <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>1:03</time> Yep. Where are we Scarlett? <cite>Scarlett Young:</cite> <time>1:08</time> Underwater. <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>1:09</time> We're underwater at the Cleveland Aquarium - The Greater Cleveland aquarium not just the regular one <cite>Scarlett Young:</cite> <time>1:15</time> Wait, if we're poor underwater. How can these all these mechanics be well... <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>1:18</time> We just watched the first Star Wars they've got the bubble thing. Hello, Jar Jar. <cite>Ray Popik:</cite> <time>1:23</time> My divers. Yeah, we've got underwater microphones. <cite>Scarlett Young:</cite> <time>1:26</time> Oh, hi Jar Jar <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>1:30</time> You want to introduce our first guest or our only guests? Or our seventh guest <cite>Ray Popik:</cite> <time>1:35</time> Lucky number seven. I'm gonna win. <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>1:37</time> Scarlett, who's our guest? <cite>Scarlett Young:</cite> <time>1:39</time> Mr. Ray <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>1:40</time> Mr. Ray, we just saw we just saw him swimming in the aquarium. A sting ray might I say? No. <cite>Ray Popik:</cite> <time>1:46</time> Maybe no. Crickets? Crickets? <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>1:48</time> I am. I am ofor so far, this is gonna be this is gonna be worse than Star Wars. <cite>Scarlett Young:</cite> <time>1:55</time> By the way audience. These are not actual points. He I see him right now. He's not putting anything on the board. So don't worry <cite>Ray Popik:</cite> <time>2:04</time> It's all above board <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>2:06</time> All right. Mr. Ray, are you the head fish? What's your official title here? <cite>Ray Popik:</cite> <time>2:08</time> I'm the curator for the Greater Cleveland aquarium. That means I work with the animal care department. So the all the Aquarius that take care of the fish, some of the maintenance guys, the divers that take care of cleaning as well as doing this morning was hanging out with the divers, you saw me in the shark exhibit. <cite>Scarlett Young:</cite> <time>2:22</time> I told him to not get the mic wet. <cite>Ray Popik:</cite> <time>2:24</time> I try not to Yeah, I'm mostly dry right now. <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>2:28</time> You gave me a big wet hug. <cite>Scarlett Young:</cite> <time>2:30</time> Me too. <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>2:30</time> Like a sea slug. <cite>Ray Popik:</cite> <time>2:31</time> That's a souvenir. You can keep that take that home <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>2:34</time> Okay, good echo in here. All right. No more shout out. Okay. All right. So Ray is one of our subscribers. He's not as important as our number one subscriber Chris Barrett shout outs. <cite>Scarlett Young:</cite> <time>2:44</time> Chris Barrett. <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>2:48</time> He loves to get shout outs on our podcast. He's our number he's our only our number one subscriber only Patreon subscriber. <cite>Scarlett Young:</cite> <time>2:54</time> Let's go Chris Barrett. <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>2:57</time> He's not. Actually he fired me today. So it's even worse worse than usual. I know. It's not his fault. But Ray is a subscriber. He's listened to the shows. He knows he knows the setup, but someone listening might be listening to this one for the first time. So this is Scarlett's Laughtastic Extravaganza is our weekly show. We tell jokes. We have a guest on every week. We have a theme for that week. And of course this week's theme is... psst... you... <cite>Scarlett Young:</cite> <time>3:25</time> Underwater jokes <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>3:27</time> Underwater joke. Sea jokes? Sea animal jokes. I've got them all. We have a couple of rules. One. If you know the answer to the joke, you don't say the answer to the joke. If I'm telling this one specifically to Ray - if one of my jokes isn't scientifically correct, please don't correct me in the middle of a joke. Because there's one there's one, one or maybe even two that I know are scientifically inaccurate. <cite>Ray Popik:</cite> <time>3:49</time> That's fine. That's fine. This is a creative license and suspension of disbelief <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>3:53</time> Correct it is exactly those things. Those are big words. And Scarlett, how many points do we get for a laugh? How many points do we get for a laugh? <cite>Scarlett Young:</cite> <time>4:02</time> Two <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>4:03</time> We get one point for a groan and we get zero points for a dada joke, right? So Scarlett, grab the magic Mary Poppins hat and let our guest pick which order he's gonna go in. <cite>Ray Popik:</cite> <time>4:28</time> Oh, big pressure I gotta go first? <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>4:29</time> Oh, Ray's going first. All right, Scarlett, you pick. <cite>Scarlett Young:</cite> <time>4:33</time> Two <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>4:33</time> Alright, I get to go last. I would say that's lucky. But I've lost every single one. <cite>Ray Popik:</cite> <time>4:39</time> The post it notes stuck together a little bit. <cite>Scarlett Young:</cite> <time>4:40</time> Yeah, but but it was. It was like the first one. <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>4:44</time> So let me make the scoreboard here. Ray first. Scarlett. Second. <cite>Scarlett Young:</cite> <time>4:50</time> John, third. <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>4:51</time> John. That's my name. I am John. <cite>Scarlett Young:</cite> <time>4:54</time> No. What about you just erase John and put dada Dada. Okay, I'll go dada. That's fine. Do I get more laughs If I say data versus John That's a laugh. DING!. All right, Mr. Ray, what do you got? All <cite>Ray Popik:</cite> <time>5:11</time> Alright. Big pressure. Let's go first. We're gonna go local. <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>5:16</time> Ooh. <cite>Ray Popik:</cite> <time>5:17</time> Were to ghosts like to go swimming? <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>5:20</time> I don't know <cite>Unknown:</cite> <time>5:21</time> In Lake EEEEEEErie! <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>5:25</time> Oh, no. All right, let's, uh, that's two points for Mr. Ray. I liked it. That was a good one. All right, Scarlett. You're up. <cite>Scarlett Young:</cite> <time>5:38</time> What did the shark say after eating a clown? <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>5:42</time> I don't know. <cite>Scarlett Young:</cite> <time>5:43</time> That tasted a little bit funny. <cite>Ray Popik:</cite> <time>5:46</time> Very nice. I'll give you that one. That's good. That's good. I actually had the one on my list. <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>5:50</time> Yeah, that's yes. The problem? Yeah. I think it was a science episode where I, I lost three jokes. Which is tricky, because I had 10. And I had to burn through three and the rest of them weren't great. <cite>Ray Popik:</cite> <time>6:01</time> Yeah, that's I pulled up 12 or 13 for today. Hey, would you go quick peeking on my homework over here. <cite>Scarlett Young:</cite> <time>6:08</time> I was looking at the X'd one. <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>6:10</time> Okay. All right. All right, ready? Another question about sharks. Do you Do you know why sharks swim and saltwater? <cite>Scarlett Young:</cite> <time>6:17</time> Why? <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>6:17</time> Because if they swim them pepper water, they'd sneeze. <cite>Scarlett Young:</cite> <time>6:22</time> That's such an old one. <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>6:25</time> You're only seven. I got Ray laughing. Are you laughing at the attempt or laughing at the joke? <cite>Ray Popik:</cite> <time>6:32</time> Uh, we'll give you a groaner at the joke. <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>6:34</time> Okay, I'll take two. All right. All right. Ray, you're up. Second round. Sounds like it could be another tough episode here. <cite>Ray Popik:</cite> <time>6:41</time> I think so. What's a mermaid's favorite sandwich? Peanut butter and jelly fish. <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>6:57</time> That was good. The audience is dying over here. <cite>Ray Popik:</cite> <time>6:59</time> The audience is always up for it. All right. <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>7:02</time> I'm giving you I'm giving you two points. I laughed, old stone face over there. Remember? If you don't laugh This podcast is getting shut down sister. It's not Scarlett's Groan-tastic Extravaganza. Laugh, we're all laughing <cite>Scarlett Young:</cite> <time>7:16</time> No, we don't have to laugh. And that wasn't really a joke. <cite>Ray Popik:</cite> <time>7:22</time> But if none of us ever laugh at you, then I just get three way tie. <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>7:24</time> That's true. We'll just stare at each other for 10 minutes and put that out. <cite>Scarlett Young:</cite> <time>7:26</time> Let's do that. <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>7:27</time> Yeah, the podcast. I think we'll lose our number one subscriber probably. <cite>Scarlett Young:</cite> <time>7:31</time> Oh , yeah. Chris Barrett, Sorry Chris Barrett. <cite>Ray Popik:</cite> <time>7:34</time> I think Chris might actually enjoy that he would kick out of that. <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>7:37</time> Alright, you're up. <cite>Scarlett Young:</cite> <time>7:38</time> My turn? Okay, let me find my numbers are all mixed up today. What does every fisherman want? <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>7:46</time> What does every fisherman want? I don't know. <cite>Scarlett Young:</cite> <time>7:49</time> A gillfriend. <cite>Ray Popik:</cite> <time>7:54</time> That's a stretch that's a stretch. <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>7:55</time> All right, that's another three points. And some sound effects I'm going to try to do sound effects for every round. Sometimes I hit them sometimes I don't. We're going for them all. Right, Scarlett this is for you. What do you call two octopuses that are exactly the same. They're itenticle. Itenticle... Itenticle <cite>Scarlett Young:</cite> <time>8:15</time> I get it. I get it. <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>8:27</time> They're itenticle. I think I'm going to give myself one because I heard someone groan it could have been just me okay. All right. I'm on pace to lose again. But we'll see what happens. Ray, you're up. <cite>Ray Popik:</cite> <time>8:46</time> Scarlett, why do seagulls fly over the ocean? <cite>Scarlett Young:</cite> <time>8:50</time> Why? <cite>Ray Popik:</cite> <time>8:51</time> Because if they flew over the bay they become bagels <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>9:00</time> The first four point joke of the day I love it. Alright, Scarlett. Number three. <cite>Scarlett Young:</cite> <time>9:13</time> What kind of fish only comes out at night? A starfish. <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>9:21</time> That's cute. That's cute. It's a starfish. Hey, hey, we're not getting offended. <cite>Ray Popik:</cite> <time>9:29</time> Two points. <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>9:30</time> Hey, believe me if I had that response after every joke that I bombed. We'd it'd be boring. So that's okay. That's a good joke it's cute. <cite>Scarlett Young:</cite> <time>9:37</time> I mean what? Oh wait, wait. Yeah, it was cute. <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>9:45</time> Yeah, let's see. There we go. So self admitting, what is it called? I don't know. I'm too tired to come up with big words, alright. Two whales walk into a zoo. The first whale says "oooOOOOOoooo…aaaaaaaaa……BLURB BLURB BLURB…aaaaaaEEEEEooooOOOOOOooooeeeEEE. Whomp. Whomp. Whomp. AcacacacacacacacacacacoooOOoooeeeeeeEEEEEEAAAAAAaaaaaaOoooOOOOOOOO" Second whale says "I don't get it" <cite>Ray Popik:</cite> <time>10:18</time> But why didn't the second whale speak in whale? <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>10:21</time> That's the joke Ray. That's the joke. That's why it's funny because one didn't get it <cite>Ray Popik:</cite> <time>10:29</time> Not bilingual whales <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>10:34</time> I want it noted that my my one audience member the one that would enjoy nothing less than to see me not get any laughs is hysterically laughing. I think we should I think we should come up next week with like another point section for bombs, like bombs so hard you get like 12 points. All right. That's a that's the round three. All right, Ray. <cite>Ray Popik:</cite> <time>11:07</time> Hey Scarlett, where's the ocean the deepest at? The bottom <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>11:19</time> Nope. It's at the bottom. <cite>Ray Popik:</cite> <time>11:23</time> I'll take two. <cite>Scarlett Young:</cite> <time>11:28</time> No, you take three, it's fine. <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>11:30</time> She's giving you a pity point. All right. That's what I believe me. I take a pity point. I'm at three right now. All right, Scarlett. Go ahead. Yeah, three. As in, this many. All right. Go ahead. Joke four <cite>Scarlett Young: Joke four:</cite> <time>11:44</time> how do shell, how do shell, how do shell fish. Shell. Fish. Get.. How do shellfish get to the hospital? <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>12:00</time> I don't know. <cite>Scarlett Young:</cite> <time>12:01</time> In a clambulance. In a clambulance. <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>12:11</time> I'm enjoying it. It's hard to. It's hard to tell that joke when you have no front teeth. <cite>Ray Popik:</cite> <time>12:19</time> Laugh point on a handicap <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>12:21</time> We're gonna give you three points on that one. All right. <cite>Scarlett Young:</cite> <time>12:26</time> Get to the clambulance <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>12:31</time> I need big points here. <cite>Scarlett Young:</cite> <time>12:34</time> Oh, my gosh, I'm dizzy now. <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>12:37</time> All right. What did the fishermen say to the magician? Scarlett - What did the fisherman say to the magician? Pick a cod any cod. That's a laugh from Ray. That's two. Alright. I got something. <cite>Ray Popik:</cite> <time>12:56</time> I mean, this goes back to that whole like the science episode. You got to know the audience. <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>13:00</time> She knows what cods are. I think she was focusing on her next joke and listening to my joke. <cite>Scarlett Young:</cite> <time>13:06</time> Yeah, I was. <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>13:08</time> Well, that's not fair. <cite>Ray Popik:</cite> <time>13:09</time> You gotta be in the moment. <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>13:10</time> You got to be in the moment. <cite>Scarlett Young:</cite> <time>13:10</time> I was in the moment <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>13:11</time> In the moment of not laughing. Alright, go ahead. Last round. Oh, should we total them up? I think we're pretty close. Ray's got 11 so far. Scarlett has 11 so far. Dada has 14. I'm sorry. I didn't carry the one. I have five. I have five points so far. I need three points to tie my lowest number. It means I need a laugh and a groom out of the last round. That's that's going to be the new game for me. It's not can I when can I not get eight points. <cite>Ray Popik:</cite> <time>13:41</time> Always stay above your bottom. So the other day, I was out there on the boardwalk, walking around. And I saw this guy. He was a sailor. He was putting helium balloons into his boat. I looked at him funny. And he got mad because I looked at him funny, right? I said, "Hey man, whatever floats your boat!". <cite>Scarlett Young:</cite> <time>14:25</time> I mean, I get it <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>14:29</time> All right, Scarlett - last joke. What do you got? <cite>Scarlett Young:</cite> <time>14:35</time> Why did one fish say to another? <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>14:37</time> I don't know. <cite>Scarlett Young:</cite> <time>14:38</time> Keep keep your mouth shut and you won't get cod. They'll get it because they it goes in their mouth. <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>14:46</time> Yes, I know. But I just had a cod joke and I got nothing. You get a cod joke and you get a laugh. And some fingerpointing. I'm saying that's a two. I'm saying we're going to we're going to we're going to a joke off for two episodes in a row but first we need to see if I can get to at least eight. <cite>Ray Popik:</cite> <time>15:03</time> Respect to the other players give them their turn. <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>15:08</time> Alright, audience I need your help. Should I go lazy crayfish? That's the setup. Not the punch line. Alright, I'm gonna go with another octopus joke. Did you know the octopus is the only fish that can squirt ink? Just squidding! What does the otter say? Does the otter say he wants to laugh? Alright, that's three. I'm taking it. I'm taking all three points. <cite>Scarlett Young:</cite> <time>15:38</time> No, she was laughing. <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>15:42</time> I'm taking four points. That's nine! All right. So we established in the Star Wars Episode. We established last week in the Star Wars Episode. If there is a tie, we do a joke off. And I forget we do joke off with the audience? Alright, well, the audience can hear us this time. So this is an audience participation. Thank you, Kelly for being our audience. Alright, Ray, what do you got? <cite>Ray Popik:</cite> <time>16:14</time> All right. Big shout out to Miss Ann this is her favorite joke. So I'm gonna give this one What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh Come on. That's exactly how you sound without any teeth. You could get this one. <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>16:33</time> Fish with no eyes? F-I-S-H, just take the I out, it's just fsh. It's a spelling joke. <cite>Ray Popik:</cite> <time>16:41</time> I thought you were word people in this house. <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>16:46</time> Alright, alright, Scarlett got a laugh out of mama you gotta get you got to equal her laugh <cite>Scarlett Young:</cite> <time>16:54</time> What kind of music should you listen to while fishing? Something with a good tuna. <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>17:05</time> It's good! Should we should we say tie go to another another round? One more round. <cite>Ray Popik:</cite> <time>17:12</time> Like a shootout. <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>17:12</time> Do you not have another one? <cite>Scarlett Young:</cite> <time>17:14</time> Wait, I do! I really wanted to do this joke. But because I had to decide in the keep your mouth shut and won't get cod or this one. <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>17:24</time> All right. Ray said he had 13 jokes. So we're gonna we're gonna go through em. <cite>Scarlett Young:</cite> <time>17:29</time> Yeah, okay, you're gonna like this one. You are. <cite>Ray Popik:</cite> <time>17:34</time> Let's see for me then. What do you call a dog underwater holding its breath. <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>17:43</time> A dog, underwater holding its breath. <cite>Ray Popik:</cite> <time>17:46</time> Scooby diver. Oh, that's a full laugh! <cite>Scarlett Young:</cite> <time>17:56</time> No, I laughed on purpose. <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>17:58</time> Yes, that's the point. That is the point. <cite>Scarlett Young:</cite> <time>18:00</time> No, I laughed on purpose. So he would get a point. This is kind of sad too - what do whales eat for dinner? <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>18:12</time> I don't know. <cite>Scarlett Young:</cite> <time>18:16</time> They eat fish and ships. <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>18:18</time> Fish and ships. It's another hard one without the teeth. Alright, audience I think I think Mr. Ray got a better laugh on the sudden death. That Scooby joke was I was not expecting it. <cite>Scarlett Young:</cite> <time>18:36</time> I mean, I seriously have no more good jokes. <cite>Ray Popik:</cite> <time>18:39</time> Oh, so you didn't do enough homework? I got like five more to go man. He said at least 10 <cite>Announcer:</cite> <time>18:45</time> And the winner is <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>18:48</time> I think the winners Mr. Ray. <cite>Ray Popik:</cite> <time>18:50</time> Whoa. Lucky number seven on the guest Yes. <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>18:52</time> Mr Ray is the big winner. Holy moly. Who expected it? What's your otter buddy? What's his name? Her name? <cite>Scarlett Young:</cite> <time>19:01</time> She doesn't have a name <cite>Ray Popik:</cite> <time>19:04</time> Is that supposed to be an urchin that it's holding? <cite>Scarlett Young:</cite> <time>19:06</time> Yeah. Or maybe it's a rock but it's covered in moss <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>19:11</time> A fuzzy rock. <cite>Ray Popik:</cite> <time>19:12</time> Could be fluffy rocks. <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>19:13</time> They happen. Alright, well. Thanks, Mr. Ray for hosting us. Congratulations on the big win. Do you have do you have a winning joke? Oh, you want to tell one more joke since you're the winner? <cite>Ray Popik:</cite> <time>19:22</time> Sure. Sure. <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>19:23</time> Only if you want to. <cite>Ray Popik:</cite> <time>19:25</time> Which one which one? What keeps the ocean from leaking out? The seals. <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>19:35</time> Man Mr. Ray came to play. I love it. Love it. Mr. Ray, thank you for hosting us. We always come to the Greater Cleveland Aquarium when we're in Cleveland. Even if you weren't here we'd still come because it's awesome. Cool space. Cool animals. We see our friends swimming with sharks. Do you smell like fish Scarlett? <cite>Ray Popik:</cite> <time>19:59</time> Oh, did you guys get to feed the sting rays this morning? Awesome - that's one of the best things <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>20:04</time> We saw your octopus buddy. He was eyeballing you, he said I remember that girl. She was even instructing some other guests that the octopus has the fake grass up there. Yeah, it's because you're smart like that, you remember things. We're meandering towards the finish line, as usual. Thank you Mr Ray. Good to see you as always. <cite>Ray Popik:</cite> <time>20:26</time> You're welcome, thanks for coming out <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>20:27</time> Scarlett, great jokes, again. I mean you're you're five and two. <cite>Ray Popik:</cite> <time>20:32</time> That was challenging. <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>20:33</time> I mean don't don't be too hard on yourself. <cite>Ray Popik:</cite> <time>20:35</time> You had me really like I was really second guessing which ones to pick? <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>20:39</time> He was sweating seawater over here. What do we say to our guests? <cite>Scarlett Young:</cite> <time>20:43</time> Thank you. I usually just say bye, but I always forget. <cite>Ray Popik:</cite> <time>20:44</time> You're welcome When you say what do you say bye? No thank you. Oh, <cite>John Young:</cite> <time>21:04</time> We say Bye. Say bye. Bye bye

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